I seem to have left my pride at pride
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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