Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
