SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
