What tipped you off? The sombrero?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
