grandma shit on top of the toilet
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
