My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
