man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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