Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
