Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
