I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
i believe in u and ur pee
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
