Taylor Swift is so right about you.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
