I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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