Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
