its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize