Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize