dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
