Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
