i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
