I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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