I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
