OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
