he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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