I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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