I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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