I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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