We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
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how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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