you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
i think im in europe. pls send help
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