Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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