I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
