called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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