Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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