Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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