i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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