Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
