Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
your room smells of hookers.
And success
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize