The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
