Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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