dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The adults are the big ones right?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
