? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
