guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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