I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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