I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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