If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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