I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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