R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
