I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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