Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
