oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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