You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
