i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
