got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
