I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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