On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
