we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
