i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
BRING THE BAGELS
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
