Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
