she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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