So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
