I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
sarcasm needs its own font
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
