Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
