If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
